Nobody Knows Anything Anymore

In partnership with

College football decided that governors running coaching searches, Pasadena suing a tenant, and a top-10 Vanderbilt were totally normal. Which honestly? Correct, this sport runs on caffeine, denial, and third-down bargains with the universe.

Welcome back, playoff doodlers, coaching-carousel doomscrollers, and special teams unit respecters. Stakes are sharpening, kickers control campus moods by Wednesday, and belief keeps meeting film study in dark alleys.

We’ll keep roasting the chaos, owning our picks record, and chasing closing-line sanity anyway.

First time here? SIGN UP
Got a hot take or cold stats? Email us: [email protected]

📰 Two-Minute Drill

Governor elbows into LSU’s coaching search
Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry said AD Scott Woodward won’t pick Brian Kelly’s successor, signaling a board-driven process after LSU’s high-profile firing. The message: fewer splashy buyouts, more accountability on the next hire.
Sometimes the loudest booster sits in the Capitol.
📎 Read More

Pasadena sues UCLA over SoFi flirtation
The City of Pasadena and the Rose Bowl Operating Company sued UCLA, alleging the Bruins are angling to shift home games to SoFi Stadium. UCLA says exploring options isn’t a breach of its Rose Bowl deal.
Tradition met L.A. traffic—and both filed motions.
📎 Read More

Georgia–Florida: Dawgs thriving on late-game nerve
No. 5 Georgia has trailed at halftime in four of five SEC games yet clawed out wins with crunch-time defense and timely plays. The Cocktail Party arrives with Atlanta and CFP leverage in view.
Kirby’s blueprint: spot you hope, then slam the door.
📎 Read More

Cincinnati’s surge meets Utah’s grit
No. 17 Cincinnati, riding a seven-game streak and 38.3 points per game, visits No. 24 Utah in a Big 12 statement test. Efficiency (7.36 yards/play) meets a program built for body blows.
If styles make fights, bring extra tape for this one.
📎 Read More

Coaching carousel pauses—or accelerates?
LSU’s opening reshuffled every AD’s shortlist. CBS outlines how other power programs could delay moves or pounce, with buyouts, timing, and playoff races dictating leverage. The market’s hot; patience is hotter.
In October, the portal isn’t the only thing spinning.
📎 Read More

🍿 The Popcorn Games

No. 9 Vanderbilt at No. 20 Texas
📍 Darrell K Royal–Texas Memorial Stadium, Austin, TX
🕒 Saturday, 12:00 PM ET on ABC
Vandy’s surprise top-10 climb walks straight into DKR, where Texas has stacked gritty wins and still swings a heavyweight’s right hook. Expect trench warfare, tempo pivots, and field-position brinkmanship. If the ‘Dores stay on schedule, Austin gets itchy; if Texas lands explosives, that itch turns into a burn.

No. 17 Cincinnati at No. 24 Utah
📍 Rice-Eccles Stadium, Salt Lake City, UT
🕒 Saturday, 10:15 PM ET on ESPN
Altitude, after-dark, and an anvil-tough Utah front, perfect ingredients to stress a surging Cincinnati. GameDay is in town, the crowd will howl, and little swings, special teams, short fields, loom huge. If the Utes drag it into a slugfest, buckle up; if the Bearcats hit early shots, Rice-Eccles gets nervy fast.

Washington State at Oregon State
📍 Reser Stadium, Corvallis, OR
🕒 Saturday, 7:30 PM ET on CBS
Late-night fistfight vibes: Wazzu’s aerial confidence against Reser’s damp-sweater hostility. Expect momentum swings off tipped balls and fourth-down guts. If Oregon State controls clock and body blows, the Beavs grind you into Sunday; if the Cougs uncork chunk plays, cue the West-Coast chaos clips.

Trusted by millions. Actually enjoyed by them too.

Most business news feels like homework. Morning Brew feels like a cheat sheet. Quick hits on business, tech, and finance—sharp enough to make sense, snappy enough to make you smile.

Try the newsletter for free and see why it’s the go-to for over 4 million professionals every morning.

Check it out

Bet Your Team On That Guy 🏈

Cyrus Allen, WR, Sr., Cincinnati

Why he’s the guy: Cincinnati’s offense keeps cashing drives because Allen keeps finding pay dirt. He torched Kansas with 11 catches for 128 yards and 2 TD, then punctured Oklahoma State with two more receiving scores plus a rushing TD in a 49–17 road romp. That’s a closer’s résumé.

Recent heater: Last two road games: 14 receptions, 165 yards, 5 total TD. He’s living on money downs and in the low red zone, where Cincinnati schemes him free with motion, stacks, and leverage routes.

How he wins: Quick releases that beat press, savvy pacing through stems, and red-zone route craft that turns rubs into airspace. If safeties bite on play-action, he flips to vertical and punishes single-high.

Team MVP case: With the lead back sidelined, Cincinnati’s scoring gravity shifts to Allen. His touchdown rate makes the difference between field goals and finishes—and his presence widens throwing windows for everyone else.

This week’s stakes: A primetime trip to Rice-Eccles with Big 12 title positioning and New Year’s Six aspirations on the line. If you’re hitching the wagon, ride the red-zone magnet who already travels.

🩼 The Walking Boot – Injury Update

Arch Manning, QB – Texas
Texas listed Arch Manning as questionable while he remains in concussion protocol, though he returned to practice midweek. If he’s out, Matthew Caldwell takes over and the Longhorns likely lean harder on the run game and quick play-action. Fantasy angle: keep late-swap flexibility and downgrade deep-threat volatility until Manning is cleared.

Evan Pryor, RB – Cincinnati
The Bearcats’ leading rusher is out this week with an ankle injury, a real hit to their efficiency and explosive rate. Expect Tawee Walker to handle the bulk of early-down work with added designed QB keepers. Fantasy angle: Walker gets a volume bump; temper yards-after-contact expectations without Pryor’s cutback juice.

Cam Coleman, WR – Auburn
Coleman sprained his ankle last week and enters the Kentucky game as a true questionable after limited practice. If he’s capped or sits, Auburn’s vertical layer thins and targets consolidate to secondary options with more RPO quicks. Fantasy angle: treat as a game-time call; have a bench pivot ready.

Sam Leavitt, QB – Arizona State
Leavitt has been ruled out, pushing Jeff Sims into the starting role. Expect the offense to tilt toward QB mobility, simplified reads, and a tighter game plan to protect the ball. Fantasy angle: downgrade ASU perimeter upside slightly; superflex managers can consider Sims for rushing floor only.

Jordyn Tyson, WR – Arizona State
Tyson is listed as doubtful and trending toward a second straight absence. Without his field-stretching gravity, ASU likely spreads snaps among ancillary wideouts and leans on possession concepts. Fantasy angle: treat Tyson as out unless upgraded late; shift targets to healthier options and avoid thin dart throws in shallow leagues.

💥 Dumpster Fire 5 – Pain Rankings

Think of the Dumpster Fire 5 as a weekly pain index, not a power ranking. It tracks programs actively melting on live TV, judged by bad losses, collapsing game plans, coaching heat, injury chaos, and vibes that smell like burnt rubber.

North Carolina
Record: 2-4, ACC preseason rank: No. 8
UNC looked like a respectable middle-tier pick, but the smell of failure is coming up from red-zone bogs and late-game management. A 17–16 overtime loss to Virginia on a failed two-point try bled confidence, and ACC play hasn’t offered a life raft. Bill Belichick’s first year has turned into triage: protection issues, stalled drives, and an 0–2 league start. Syracuse awaits on Friday night, and momentum leaks are real when even winnable games slip.

Colorado
Record: 3-4, Big 12 preseason rank: No. 10
The Buffs were supposed to be scrappy and explosive. Instead, they’re committing drive-killing penalties, stuck in red-zone purgatory, and bleeding explosive plays on defense. With no official Big 12 preseason poll this year, most panels slotted CU mid-pack—and the on-field product has been exactly that: overmatched in finishing drives, inconsistent on special teams, and one injury away from full-on chaos. Fans are already comparing what they gave up vs. what they got in the portal shuffle.

Clemson
Record: 3-4, ACC preseason rank: No. 1
Picked to win the league, the Tigers are watching confidence bleed away in real time. Losses to LSU (17–10), Georgia Tech (24–21), Syracuse (34–21), and SMU (35–24) tell the story: stalled in high-leverage downs, miscues in the red zone, and a defense that can’t bail out late-game execution. The blueprint was pristine in July; by late October it’s mud—hot seat sizzle? Not yet, but the vibe is damage control and the runway is short.

Wisconsin
Record: 2-6, Big Ten preseason rank: No. 12
From “steady floor” to “dumpster sparkle,” the Badgers can’t get out of their own way. Third-down anemia, leaky explosives allowed, and a special-teams hiccup or two have directly led to losses that couldn’t have looked more avoidable. Luke Fickell is trying to piece together answers behind a line that lacks seniority, but style points don’t matter when bowl math is already blinking red. As Big Ten play ramps, this feels dangerously close to oh-no mode.

Arkansas
Record: 2-6, SEC preseason rank: No. 14
From hopeful reset to smoke detector with fresh batteries. A 56–13 face-plant against Notre Dame lit the fuse, Sam Pittman was fired, and Bobby Petrino took the interim chair while turnovers and red-zone stalls piled up. Six straight losses later, the Hogs are overmatched in every phase and living on field-position crumbs. The remaining SEC slate looks like a bar fight in a phone booth; survival mode might be the only option.

🎲 The Spread Option

The college football slate is a chaos buffet, and we’ve been the people who keep going back for the jalapeño jello. We suck—there, we said it—but we’re still having fun. This week we’re stripping it down: no vibes-only yolo, no hero parlays, just numbers, situational edges, and closing-line value. The goal: fewer fireworks, more discipline, and zero charity donations to the book… while we still enjoy the ride.

Record Last Week: 2-3
Season Total: 14-28-1

🔥 Neighborly Spite Game
Miami Hurricanes at Florida State Seminoles — Miami -4.5 (DraftKings)
Rivalry hate, primetime, and a number that says the market trusts Miami’s floor more than FSU’s ceiling. If you like home-dog magic, you’re betting against Miami’s top-20 standard-downs efficiency and a defense that can squeeze third-and-mediums. Tallahassee will be loud, but the number respects the Canes’ baseline.
Pick: Florida State +4.5.

🎯 Don’t-Touch-The-Doorknob Game
Vanderbilt Commodores at Texas Longhorns — Texas -2.5 (DraftKings)
This sits under a field goal because Texas has been inconsistent in finishing drives, but Vandy’s pass rush isn’t scaring anyone on the road. If Quinn Ewers stays clean, the Longhorns’ explosive rate wins the math. Low number in a hostile SEC house? Market still trusts Texas more.
Pick: Texas -2.5.

⚓️ Option Anxiety Special
Cincinnati Bearcats at Utah Utes — Utah -9.5 (FanDuel)
Rice-Eccles at night is a tax on visiting offenses, and Cincinnati’s leading rusher being out nudges the Bearcats toward one-dimensional. Utah’s ground game plus altitude equals possessions squeeze and leverage downs for the Utes’ front. Laying more than a TD feels justified in this environment.
Pick: Utah -9.5.

🌙 Primetime Upset Brewing
USC Trojans at Nebraska Cornhuskers — USC -6.5 (BetMGM)
Lincoln is a sneaky minefield, but USC bringing a functional run game against a defense leaking explosives is the cleaner side. If the Trojans protect the ball, Nebraska’s offense can’t chase a track meet. Number under seven invites a chalk swallow with outs.
Pick: USC -6.5.

🎭 Track Meet Watch — O/U Feature
Georgia Bulldogs vs Florida Gators — Georgia -7.5 (FanDuel)
Neutral site, cocktail-party nerves, and a spread that dares you to fade Georgia’s trench edge. Florida’s offense has sputtered against top fronts; long-field drives won’t stack here. If Georgia gets early short fields, cover math accelerates fast. The number has held; that’s telling.
Pick: Georgia -7.5.

🎪 West-Coast Late Window Value
Virginia Cavaliers at California Golden Bears — Virginia -4.5 (FanDuel)
Cross-country travel spot, but UVA’s balanced offense versus Cal’s bend-then-break profile keeps this inside schedule control. If the Cavs stay on script on standard downs, they can cover without fireworks. Market consensus has sat around -4.5; we’ll trust the efficiency edge.
Pick: Virginia -4.5.

This weekend will juggle Cocktail Party nerves, governors cosplaying ADs, and Pasadena filing motions like blitzes—and we’ll all pretend we understand committee logic. Set your TVs like tripwires, hedge your emotions, and remember: kickers write the last sentence. Arch is “day-to-day” (translation: two weeks…or never), Rice-Eccles taxes lungs and bankrolls, and neutral sites aren’t neutral. Always remember: special teams decides tight games (and nobody watches special teams). Never trust October Heisman odds. See you next week—same chaos, better jokes, fewer charity donations to sportsbooks.

— The Convert on Fourth Down Team

📬 Toss us in your primary inbox.
📩 [email protected]