The Bag, The Hype, and The Portal

🏁 Welcome back, sickos, schemers, and spreadsheet warriors.

The offseason’s almost dead, but July still insists on doing the most. Coaches are tossing around words like “synergy” and “buy-in” while quietly hoping their backup QB stops tweeting cryptic Drake lyrics. Meanwhile, NIL collectives are burning cash like it's a deleted scene from Succession, and every Group of Five program is apparently “building something special.”

This newsletter is for the ones who’ve already bookmarked Week Zero kickoff times, the psychos tracking freshman WR snaps from spring game film, and anyone who saw Virginia Tech’s new uniforms and thought, “neat, but who’s replacing their WILL linebacker?”

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📰 HEADLINES: Where Logic Goes to Die

Trump Executive Order Tries to NIL-Proof the Wild West
In a stunning move that feels like 2004 cosplay, Trump’s new order bans third-party pay-for-play and declares athletes are definitely, totally not employees. The NCAA promptly ran to Congress like a kid tattling at recess.
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Virginia Tech Allegedly Recruits Mid-Game
Yes, you read that right. NC Central’s coach says a Hokie assistant tried to poach his RB during the game. This is either the most blatant tampering ever—or an incredible prank.
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Nico Iamaleava Says Tennessee Was “Too Much Drama”
The former 5-star QB ditched the Vols for UCLA, citing “nostalgia” and “peace.” Translation: Heupel’s offense and Knoxville message boards broke him.
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UTSA QB Claims Memphis Playbook Leak
A transfer QB says he got Memphis’s defensive playbook from a friend. No one’s denying it outright, but Purdue’s busy pretending they’ve never heard of PDF files.
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UNC Players Ignore Belichick-Adjacent Scandal
With Belichick headlines swirling, UNC’s locker room went full no-comment zen. Mack Brown might be the only coach in America who could Jedi-mind-trick a media firestorm into boredom.
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🔍 Position Spotlight: RBs in Reload Mode

Oregon’s Backfield: Tempo + Talent = Trouble for Opponents
The Ducks return Jordan James and add SEC bruiser depth, creating one of the nastiest 1–2 RB punches in the Big Ten. James is already getting buzz as a breakout, with early camp reports saying the staff is building the RPO system around him. Don’t be shocked if he finishes as a top-10 fantasy back in volume and red zone touches alone.

Miami: Damien Martinez Is That Transfer
Martinez came in from Oregon State and instantly became the guy—coaches are hyping his “SEC-ready” physicality, and insiders say he’s already taking first-team reps ahead of incumbent Don Chaney. In a post-TVD offense that might lean on the run game to bail out its QB situation, Martinez is a 20+ touch candidate every week. Fantasy upside? Enormous if his ankle stays healthy.

Texas Tech: RB Rotation Roulette Is Back
Tahj Brooks is gone, but Cam’Ron Valdez and a couple of incoming freshmen are making the RB depth chart a weekly guessing game. Valdez has burst, but the staff keeps teasing a committee. Translation: Tech wants production without naming a lead back, and that’s a red flag unless you’re in a 14-man league or love emotional pain.

💰 Bag Secured – The NIL Illusion of Amateurism

Texas Tech Is Now an Investment Bank with Helmets
They’ve reportedly burned through $15M in NIL money—second only to Texas—and not a single donor blinked. When your collectives are bankrolled by oil barons, you don’t just recruit, you acquire. If they finish anything worse than 9–3, it’ll be the most expensive 7-win season in West Texas history.

High School Recruits Are Asking for Private Jets and Penthouse Leases
Gone are the days of "a nice dorm and a free iPad." Now it’s $6,000/month condos, mom's car paid in full, and charter flights for recruiting visits. Some of these 17-year-olds are out here crafting NIL terms like they’ve got a legal team on retainer—because they do. It’s not the Wild West anymore, it’s the Ritz-Carlton West.

The New Middle Tier: $100K to Hold a Clipboard
We’re officially in the era where backup QBs and situational DBs are clearing six figures just to be “depth with potential.” It’s hard to blame them—why battle for reps when you can collect a bag to be QB3 with great vibes? This isn’t NIL anymore. It’s direct deposit with pads.

🌀 Overheard in the Portal

“It’s not a rebuild, it’s a recalibration.” – Anonymous Big Ten coach
Translation: We lost 17 starters, half the staff, and our DC is now coaching high school lacrosse. But yeah, “recalibration” sounds less like a panic button.

“This was always the plan.” – Transfer QB on switching schools for the third time
Translation: Totally normal to have three different school hoodies in your Instagram bio by junior year. Big believer in multi-campus development, apparently.

“We’re building something special.” – Coach after losing two four-stars to SMU
Translation: What we’re building is... humility. And maybe a LinkedIn profile.

That’s it for this week’s episode of “please stop saying this is the year for Nebraska.”

Until next time, stay hydrated, trust the sicko committee, and never draft a kicker before Round 18.

— The Convert on Fourth Down Team

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